@ScarletStoner: I look suspicious doing anything. You could walk in on me heating up a hot pocket and my face could look like I just murdered my family.
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@jonnysun: i just foumd out that humpty dumpty is suposed to be an egg. nowhere in the humpty dumpty poem does it say that humpty dumpty is a egg
@Kalarlis: When the cashier asks for my signature, I just write "HELP ME" while maintaining eye contact
@gavinpivott: A really hot girl asked me for my number today and all I had to do was hit her car with my car.