@sween: I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don't be a smart-ass".
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@mattselman: If the United States ever collapses, the upside is that we can finally use the blue starry part of American flags to make wizard hats.
@dave_cactus: *sees a truck* Nice. *sees a trucker* Oh, impressive. *sees a truckest* Ah yes. This is what I came for.
@MissNaughty1801: The worst thing about finding out Santa isn't real is that you realise it was your parents who were to blame for all the terrible presents
@DirtyMelodies: I want my boyfriend to get a tattoo on his neck so I won't have to worry about him getting a job and not having time to hang out with me.