@Jandalize: I lose bobby pins in my hair. Please don't ask me to babysit your kids.
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@JessicaVarsity: If someone doesn't respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don't love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly.
@Naggalie: My husband asks too many questions. "Who is Steve?" "Why does he call all the time?" "What's this bill for a hotel room?"
@WritePlay: ME: So are you gonna put it in me or what NURSE: Sir it's a blood draw please stop saying that
@ComedicBust: Girlfriend: How old were you when you lost your virginity, 16-17? Me: [remembering having a bowl cut until I was 28] Around there.