@Jandalize: I lose bobby pins in my hair. Please don't ask me to babysit your kids.
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@tastefactory: ME: [in front of mirror] Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary *Bloody Mary appears* ME: I'm moving today and need your help BLOODY MARY: Shit
@Mr_Kapowski: Watched an old man pay in all quarters and my only thought was "he must keep all the money he pulls from behind kid's ears"
@ItsDanSheehan: 7:43 pm: I am in an argument with my girlfriend and my anger is justified 7:51 pm: I have just apologized for the Salem Witch Trials
@shopkins776: *puts on headphones *cranks "Eye of the Tiger" *downs energy drink *laces up Nikes *runs out into 13° weather *runs back inside *Naps