@ZachXJ: I lost 50 pounds by having my wallet stolen in London AND YOU CAN TOO
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@Twtercide: Me: I have a date tonight. Friend: A guy coming over to install cable isn't a date. Me: *frowns* But I got a cheese platter....
@DaddyBeerGuy: Arguing with a woman is like being attacked by a bear... You're better off playing dead and hoping they get bored and walk away!
@PwrFulWmn: "It's just a shell... it's just a shell... it's just a shell." - my foot touching anything in the ocean.