@AimeeHelene1: I lost 6 hours of sleep last night, lying in bed wondering if Muppets get haircuts.
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: you like that? *takes out trash* Wife: ooooh Me *starts vacuuming the living room* Wife: oh my god, don't stop
@AbbyHasIssues: How to clean a plastic shower curtain liner: Step 1: Throw it away and buy a new one for $5 at Target.