@rickkondell: I lost a good friend today, he asked me to pick up some non-alcoholic beer.
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@Reverend_Scott: REALTOR: You'll LOVE this home- ME: My dog doesn't like it. REALTOR: But I- ME: [holding dog in realtor's face] I TRUST HIM MORE THAN YOU
@WittySassBasket: I just had the best argument in my head and I cannot wait until someone pisses me off.
@pixelatedboat: I was the fastest gun in the West, I'd shoot you with a ham before you could even ask "What is that, some sort of ham cannon?"