@TjSmooth0: I lost an ibuprofen under my dresser a week ago and now I'm worried the spiders are coming after me with no headaches and renewed vigor.
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@Twtercide: If you want the truth, ask a child. If you want some bullshit, ask an adult. If you want to end up in jail, ask your friends on Twitter.
@PaperWash: Find everything OK, sir? Everything except happiness! You won't find that at Wal-Mart! We laughed & laughed until my credit card declined
@chopper4jk: I put an energy drink in my hummingbird feeder, now all my hummingbirds are going back in time and returning with tiny top hats.