@kelkulus: I lost my balance on an escalator and fell down the stairs for 2 hours.
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@WittySassBasket: H: this may be difficult, but you're pregnant. *flips table* *punches mirror* THAT IS THE LAST TIME I BUY CLEAN URINE OFF CRAIG'S LIST!
@bonehugsnirony: Being goth is hard. The curse on your boss is not working. Ravens are impossible to train. Deodorant marks on your black clothes. Ugh.
@Reverend_Scott: You excited to watch the Super Bowl? "Ya, but only cuz the commercials." [sounds of man being beaten to death with bowl of chips and dip]