@DanielleBreeden: I lost my car chapstick and now my book bag chapstick is in my room and my room chapstick is in my car and my whole life’s outta wack
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@wicce_podge: Hate to be nosey, people in the hallway, but you're too effing loud and yes, that mole should be looked at.
@KimmyMonte: *sees my husband cry as he holds our newborn son for the 1st time* wtf did that baby just say to you?
@WheelTod: Funerals have gotten so expensive: at mom's, after paying for the bouncy house, clowns & pony rides, we couldn't afford a decent magic show.