Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

@DanielleBreeden: I lost my car chapstick and now my book bag chapstick is in my room and my room chapstick is in my car and my whole life’s outta wack

I lost my car chapstick and now my book bag chapstick is in my room and my room chapstick is in my car and my whole life’s outta wack
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@daemonic3: SALMON: Who has been spreading gossip I thought I could trust you two TROUT: I don't know, who could it be?! BIG MOUTH BASS: Yeah, who??

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@TjSmooth0: I lost an ibuprofen under my dresser a week ago and now I'm worried the spiders are coming after me with no headaches and renewed vigor.

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@trims_the_fat: Funny how people get all angry when you break something of their's that they don't ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.

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@Heather2Go: I'm so bad with directions that every time I try to go to Pound Town I end up in the Friend Zone.

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@laurenreeves: My sister asked if I stole her cream sweater. Uh, yeah. Who else would've stolen it? You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"

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