@SamTR7: I lost my phone and it's on silent. Man! I should've listened to Beyonce.
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@TuffyNyC: My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear.
@PeaceInTruth1: A car gets better traction in the snow if you throw a couple of coworkers in the trunk.
@iwearaonesie: dad: Hand me that Phillips screwdriver me: *looking* dad: Isn't that a Phillips beside you? me: It says "Craftsman" dad: me: Are you crying?