@SamTR7: I lost my phone and it's on silent. Man! I should've listened to Beyonce.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *gets all four daughters dressed* Wife: I want everyone in Christmas dresses. Me: But- Wife: Everyone. Me: Fine. *puts on my dress*
@sacha_is_good: "If you could take one thing from a burning house, what would it be?" THE FIRE. I WOULD TAKE THE FIRE AND PUT IT OUTSIDE. Easy. Next.
@BobTheSuit: [Job interview] -Are you going to just keep spinning around in that chair? Sorry. I didn't think we started yet.