@Ophoenix1: I love Americans. You guys have the best serial killers.
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@ceejoyner: Can't you just live in the moment, Phil? Every time we kill a bison or light a fire you have to draw it in a cave with your fancy stick.
@huntigula: Your resume just says "falconer" "And?" Well, this is a bank *falcon starts break-dancing* "Not yet Tyler, wait until he offers us the job"
@david8hughes: [baby sitting] "Hey, yeah it's me. No, everything's fine. Just a quick question about his legs." "..." "So how many legs did he have?"
@imdaintyaf: Me: What's the point if it's not a little violent, dirty? I wanna feel alive. The blood makes me feel ALIVE. Dentist: Please just floss more