@Tmoney68: I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.
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@prattprattpratt: If not for the cowardly actions of John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln would have turned 207 today.
@alan_maguire: I'm watching two crows fight over a toothbrush. Crows don't even have teeth, it's just capitalism making them want things they don't need
@ahoytheboat: my criminal record is only clean because of how fast i can run with my pants around my ankles.