@sammyrhodes: I love donuts so much I want to marry them. But then I'm afraid I would eat all our donut hole children.
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@birbigs: You guys, The Hunger Games movie is distracting us from reality- which is, of course, The Hunger Games.
@TheTweetOfGod: I won't be satisfied until I have enough followers to form sects that fight about how to interpret My tweets until they kill each other.
@NicestHippo: The first judge ever was like "When I'm done talking I'll pound my desk with a hammer" and we were all "Ok that's not insane"
@Shanehasabeard: If Jesus appears to you, ask him to bevel cut a jack rafter onto a door header. If he doesn't know what you mean, that's an imposter Jesus.