@sammyrhodes: I love donuts so much I want to marry them. But then I'm afraid I would eat all our donut hole children.
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@bobvulfov: DATE: oh u have an eyelash on ur cheek [picks it up] make a wish ME (under my breath): i wish u wouldn't touch my property
@HollyHeals: Ever have the shower curtain touch you unexpectedly and start karate chopping the air?? No, me either.
@DBMaxP: Why are the people with the most annoying laughs the ones that find everything hysterical?
@Parkerlawyer: You scream "SWEEP THE LEG!" one time and all of a sudden you're "invited" to watch your kid's wrestling match from the parking lot.