@NicestHippo: I love emoji. No longer do I have to type out "This weather is yellow face with hearts instead of eyes"
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@Carbosly: Being a hacker in the '80's was way easier. *shakes vending machine until chocolate bars falls.
@rohoxbaby: tip: glue a tiny mirror onto your drivers license photo so, when you hand it to the cops, they will get confused & arrest themselves instead
@xLiserx: *Wakes up in Superman's body* Me: Holy crap! I'm finally a hero! *Uses heat vision to re-heat last night's pizza & puts on Netflix*
@joejwest: WRITER: A drifter & a rich lady fall in love WALT DISNEY: Can they be dogs? WR: A woman steals a couple's baby WD: Can the baby be 101 dogs?