@Midgetspar: I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you ... even you.
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@jwoodham: VALENTINE'S DAY PLAN: Go to the homes of all couples who Instagram pictures of fancy restaurants and rob them while they're eating dinner.
@miller_tm: Just got an email from dominoes said "easy and delicious" they sure know how to talk to a single guy!
@CaniacMONK: *Sees thing on floor *Vacuums over said thing *Vacuum cant pick it up *Picks up thing *Looks at it *Puts it back on the floor to vacuum