@Midgetspar: I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you ... even you.
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@trevso_electric: I used to pretend that broccoli florets were treetops and I was a giant eating up the forest while my Dad pretended he had a manly son.
@novicefather: [opens door for two Jehovah's witnesses] Ugh...ok come in. The goat blood is in a vial on the table. I'll get the virgin from the basement.
@ArfMeasures: ME: I was having a juice cleanse between 6 & 8 p.m COP: You don't need an alibi, you're not a suspect ME: I know, I'm just telling everyone