@Midgetspar: I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you ... even you.
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@danjan13: Good guy in movie shot 3 times: I must save my family Me, kinda sore from trampoline sesh: sorry gramma can't make it to your 85th bday
@simoncholland: [Mother's Day text to my wife] Don't let the kids know I sent this but do you know where we keep the powdered sugar and band-aids?
@AaronFullerton: If you zoom out during the opening credits of "Friends," you'll see that the security guard who protects that fountain is DEAD.