@Midgetspar: I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you ... even you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WineMummy: Him: Didn't you buy that apple pie yesterday? Me: Yeah, so? Him: There's one small piece left. Me: And if you touch it, I'll stab you.
@LackOfShame: [text from friend) Her: You doing okay? Me: Yeah I guess. Why, what have you heard?
@ThisOneSayz: "So I go east? Then west? Then back east?" ~ Me, drunk and getting directions from the inflatable stick figure in front of a car dealership
@joe_binkley: (Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?