@4Crocs: I love going to the dentist. He fills all my cavities. Then checks my teeth.
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@lazerdoov: Gonna get "na na na na na na na na" tattooed on my forearm. I'll tell girls it's Hey Jude and I'll tell dudes it's the Batman theme.
@girl_a_whirl: *comes home from work. House is clean, laundry done, dinner on the table* Me: Hey babe...who did this? Husband *levitating*: There is no babe...only Zuul Me: How much does Zuul cost per week?
@68Cly29: The embarrassing moment when you bring handcuffs to 'gamenight' and she brings Monopoly.
@WheelTod: [Staring at bedroom ceiling] Her:Don't worry. It happens to every guy Me:Not to me it doesn't! *resumes trying to unscrew lid from pasta jar