@remington3000: I love Halloween because I can buy 9 bags of Snickers and everyone thinks I'm going to pass them out to kids.
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@Sickayduh: BOSS: I've called you here because I suspect one of you... IS AN OWL ME: Who? *everyone stares at me, even Gary whose head is turned 180°*
@hippieswordfish: [arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE
@E_lok44: I shaved my legs today and drew the hair back on. I don't get it, eyebrow ladies, I don't get it.