@bobbiejo448: I love how all the characters in kids shows are always SO thrilled while at work. Like Bob never gets pissed over a missing screwdriver.
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@ImLeslieChow: "I wasn't that drunk!" "Dude, you congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story."
@CallousBalzac: [first date] Me: *don't let him know you're the Mona Lisa* Him: You look nice tonight Me: *smiles ambiguously*
@KateWhineHall: Just finished up some dusting. And by dusting I mean I blew on a shelf and then sneezed 6 times in a row.
@galiamango: I'm not a shout it from the rooftops kind of person, but I'll write it on a post-it and leave it lying around for people to see.