@rachaelkelly18: I love how coffee tricks me into believing I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes
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@SteveSuckington: "There's approximately a 50% chance there will be weather today." -meteorologists
@bourgeoisalien: When I die, I'm donating my body to the theater department. Any jerk could donate their body to science. I can't wait to be a theater prop.
@TheBigBatman: her: psssssssst me: ? her: psssssssssssssssssssssst me: ??? her: psssssssssssssssssssssssssssst GOD DAMN IT, MY BLOW UP DOLL HAS A PUNCTURE