@rachaelkelly18: I love how coffee tricks me into believing I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes
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@clemdytan: I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!
@Mikecanrant: Aardvarks aare so aanoying. Aalmost everything theyre aasociated with is aanoying. I get Aangry just thinking aabout them. Aalso Aarons.
@MikeLonghelt: It's never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it's too late.
@hazelmotes1: Inspirational Tweet: The journey of 1,000 miles begins with "daaaaad I have to peeeeee"