@DothTheDoth: I love how insurance companies offer "accident forgiveness" like they're some sort of ancient deity pardoning your existence.
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@_knuck_: *peeing in the urinal at McDonalds* *turns to the guy peeing in the other urinal* "So, what did you order?"
@economybacon: Carl: Everybody was Kung fu fighting! Doug: um, I don't know Kung f-- Carl: except for Doug from accounting
@i_zzzzzz: Good slumber party questions: - What's the furthest underground you've ever eaten a burger - How many necks have you touched - What's pesto
@raniao2011: For all those men who say"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" I say: why buy an entire pig just to get a little sausage!