@TheGayFlash: I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin or a lawnmower.
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@GibJimson: Being the tallest person at work, leads me to believe they hired me because they were short staffed.
@_Mo_lee_: Guy:Hey what are you doing? Girl:unzipping it Guy:why? Girl:I want to see how big it is. .. *Unzips tent and gets inside* Girl:nice, nice..
@Brentweets: "Fluffy died today" "Oh my god I'm so sorry, was he a cat or dog? "He was a boa constrictor" "Well that made me feel better"
@velcrofannypack: Directions: avoid contact with eyes "It's Ok, Shampoo, I feel shy sometimes too."