@LuvPug: I love how Prince Charming is so dumb he doesn't recognize Cinderella without her shoe.
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@thenatewolf: Snakes can't win. They use the sidewalk and everyone screams, they stick to the grass and they're playing into hurtful stereotypes.
@JustDontBugMe: [Secret Meeting] God: We need to create something Magical Angel: Yes, Sir G: Call it Unicorn A: *Tries and fails G: Call it rhinoceros
@StarWarsProblms: Kylo: I need an N to finish my favorite Vader quote. Han: This is SpaghettiOs, not Alphabet Soup. Kylo: Great. Now Vader says, "OOOOOOOO!"
@clyderun: My company just gave the janitor the Employee of the Month Award in a big ceremony that he spent hours cleaning up afterwards.