@LuvPug: I love how Prince Charming is so dumb he doesn't recognize Cinderella without her shoe.
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@kiel_phillips: ME: Dave's coming over for tea WIFE: Dave from work or Dave I'm having a secret affair with? DAVE: *from inside wardrobe* I don't eat peas
@Andee_Stewart: My teenaged daughter just asked me how to spell U2. Fingers crossed for that athletic scholarship.
@ericsshadow: Cop: license and registration. Me: I don't carry my drivers license so I don't lose it. Cop: where is it? Me: I have absolutely no idea.