@LuvPug: I love how Prince Charming is so dumb he doesn't recognize Cinderella without her shoe.
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@AndyAsAdjective: The new employee manual at work mislabeled "casual Friday" as "cannibal Friday" & sadly we lost poor Dorothy before anyone could stop Fred.
@squirrel74wkgn: [sitting in van] Robber 1: Ready? Robber 2: Let's do this! Me: How do I...*trying to open egg container of pantyhose*...open this?
@Blonde4Dayz: H: "Whatcha doing?" Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"