@LuvPug: I love how Prince Charming is so dumb he doesn't recognize Cinderella without her shoe.
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@T_N_Crumpets: Me: [bursts into wife's meeting] BABE, IT HAPPENED! Wife: Dave, I'm at wo- Me: I paid for 6 [empties chicken nuggets on table] I got 7
@cloudypianos: "someday this will all be yours" I say to my dogs, waving my arms wildly across a half empty plate of mexican food
@TheCatWhisprer: Rachel Ray now makes cat food with real beef just like the cows my cat would eat in the wild.
@Rachrinc: I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake