@timdonakowski: I love how science fiction movies skip right to the fiction part.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@novicefather: I enjoy jogging in the mountains because nature is beautiful and cardiac arrest excites me.
@ibid78: [therapist] what seems to be the problem? [her] he only hears what he wants to hear. It's awful [me] oh my god yes, I would love a waffle
@TheMichaelRock: You couldn't hold an intelligent conversation if I duct taped one to your hands.
@KeetPotato: "what's your most cherished memory keith?" [looks at my wife and baby in crowd with loving smile] [leans into mic] i heard a dog laugh once