@timdonakowski: I love how science fiction movies skip right to the fiction part.
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@KentWGraham: I saved a ton of money on cool sports cars, vacation getaways and NFL season tickets by having children.
@ColorMeScradd: MAN!! My boss is always all "Blah blah blah!", "You're late!", and "Get me more pictures of Spiderman!!"
@Brampersandon_: ME: forgive me father for I have sinned PRIEST: nothing that can’t be forgiven my son ME: I microwave my pop tarts PRIEST: u sick son of a
@ClaytonSykes: Judge: Your client says he's mentally fit to stand trial correct?Lawyer: Yes, your honor.Judge: Then can you tell him to get out of my seat?