@BlackTurnsBlue: I love Kit Kats the most whenever there aren't three other people around.
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@Bob_Janke: If you ever feel silly for being on Twitter just remember there are people on national television asking "ghosts" questions.
@agathagotstoned: *walks out into irradiated air using an antique porcelain teacup as a gas mask* *dies instantly, but with a touch of class*
@chrisscamurra: CASHIER: its declined ME: run it again C: sir, is this one of those fake credit cards they mail out ME: no C: your name is "local resident"?
@CakeThrottle: My young nephew said that people with glasses should only be able to marry other people with glasses. He's like a tiny Republican senator.