@SergioValenCo: I love meeting new people. Not you. Don't touch me.
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@EndhooS: boss: have you been here all night? me: [jumps awake at my desk] uh, yeah. boss: trouble at home? me: there's a seagull standing on my car
@daemonic3: "Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight" - The Swiss Army
@Sickayduh: My girlfriend has twin 3yo girls. They each have a sippy cup with their names on them. When she's not looking, I switch the cups.