@DevinRange: I love my 5yr old dearly, but if he keeps saying "Dark" Vader I may have to sell him.
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@ThisOneSayz: Bring a toddler to your next robbery. Their smudgy fingerprints everywhere will make the forensics team cry.
@huntigula: "I'd have to say my two favorite things are sex, and not having my head bitten off." -soon to be disappointed praying mantis
@Sickayduh: [Touring Italy] Guide: Bathroom anyone? Me: I peed at the Tower of Pizza Guide: That's Pisa Me: Sorry. I took a pisa at the Tower of Pizza
@JesKeepSwimming: I was going to spend the next 6 years studying medicine to become a doctor. Then I realized I could just like Facebook photos to save lives.