@jackiembouvier: I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again.
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@shutupmikeginn: Ugh I hate living next to an art school I dragged an old couch outside and a bunch of dudes came over and they're just taking pictures of it
@Donna_McCoy: You don't need Crossfit if you have to get to the mailbox and back whilst avoiding mosquitoes the size of chihuahuas.
@maddyalou: Feeling sick at work. Subway to the bus-$5 Bus to commuter lot-$2 Puking in my car-$0 Guy in the car next to me puking in response-priceless
@schmuuur: I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how's your day going?