@jackiembouvier: I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again.
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@SarahAMoulton: I bet when humans 1st learned to eat there were a lot of mishaps. "Just tried the sand, Betty, probably a 2 out of 10. Don't eat the sand."
@theshamingofjay: God: thou shall not kill Me: but my coworker whistles all day God: still no Me: he says ciao instead of goodbye God: do what you have to
@DoogieHorner: Dogs are "practice babies" and cats are "practice ex-girlfriends you still have to share an apartment with."
@ArfMeasures: *watches Planet Of The Apes* Ugh it's so unrealistic that dumb creatures would rule the planet *watches the news* Oh