@jackiembouvier: I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again.
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@robfee: No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e.
@daemonic3: GOOD COP: He won't talk except in sign language BAD COP: I just cut off his left hand BAD PUN COP: He still has the right to remain silent
@TheBoydP: I was confused when my wife asked me what I spent $108 on at the liquor store. I answered "liquor?" All is not a trick question. Apparently