@Michael_Erhart: "I love my Job!" -Job's wife
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@Pork_Chop_Hair: [Speed dating] Me: would you say you’re more of a cat person or a dog person? Black Panther: ... Are you serious right now?
@natkaotic: Those of you who believe everything you read on the internet probably also believe there's hot local singles in your area.
@marcia_bee: Found an old Tom Jones CD and my underwear drawer flew wide open and all my undies threw themselves at my stereo.