@tarashoe: i love nature :) sittin in grass, soakin up sun, listenin to all those weird ringtones that come from those animals in the trees or whatever
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@ThaJawn: Hipster: Check out my mini.. Me: *snatches and eats Hipster:.. Bonsai tree Me: *swallows* It's alright for a veggie Hipster: Me: anymore?
@BradBroaddus: My wife told me to find someone else if anything ever happened to her so I don't know why she got pissed when she found my "prospects" list.
@SteveSuckington: Wife: [looking at bank statement] what's this huge charge from Clones R Us? Me: [sends group text to 7 other me's] she's on to us
@JediGigi: Lady, your baby needs to chill. This is MY Binky. I found it fair and square after "someone" threw it on the ground. Finders keepers.