@AnkCoupleTO: I love picking out my wife's panties except this isn't my house and now some dudes are yelling for me to come downstairs with my hands up
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@QwertyJones3: "See that guy over there? I have to serve him with papers today." -Oh really? Why? "Because I lost my tennis racquet."
@specialhug: People ask me the secret of a good tweet. It's called "proof-reading". Perhaps you've hard of it
@jdforshort: If flying by the seat of your pants was so easy, do you think I would still be dealing with morning traffic to get to work?