@AnkCoupleTO: I love picking out my wife's panties except this isn't my house and now some dudes are yelling for me to come downstairs with my hands up
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@Sean_Burgundy_: I hate when I meet a beautiful woman and have to leave bc someone who beat me in a rap battle is walking my way
@Laser_Cat: *gets pulled over* Do you know how fast you were going? *pulls string* *inflates emergency mustache* Oh sorry officer. You're free to go.
@ibid78: "Ok last interview question. Biggest weakness?" "People say I'm too hospitable." "I see. So should I stop sitting on your lap?" "Your call."