@JermHimselfish: I love raking all the leaves in my yard into a big pile then running really fast and jumping to conclusions when people don't text me back.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pumpkin_horse: *lays down on memory foam mattress* mattress: remember that time you pooped your pants in 3rd grade? me: I regret buying you
@IronWang: Me: Close your eyes. Give me your hand, darling. Can you feel my heart beating? Do you unders... Dr:(removes stethoscope) Really? Everytime?
@carlyken: Noah's Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?
@sammyrhodes: Every time I lose a sock I like to imagine it went to set one of Dobby's house elf friends free.