@MrsRupertPupkin: I love salad! Just wish it had the taste & texture of pizza.
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@tricycle_champ: BREAKING NEWS: Bread is extremely toxic to humans. "Just throw it all in a lake somewhere," says one long-billed scientist
@Tbone7219: Thanks for the 27 hashtags describing your pic otherwise I would have never known it's a hamburger
@DaddyJew: The only problem with teaching little kids to share is that sometimes they want some of my stuff
@Brianhopecomedy: *grabs knife, cuts forehead, lies on floor* Wife walks in: "WHAT HAPPENED?" "A burglar came in right when I was about to clean the house"