@MrsRupertPupkin: I love salad! Just wish it had the taste & texture of pizza.
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@daplusk: I nod and smile at empty places just to confuse any ghosts that might be there into thinking i can see them.
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife and I play this fun game at home where one of us says, "Could you watch the kids for a minute?" and runs.
@GreenishDuck: Sorry it took me 10 months to text you back. I'm a snake now and I typed this with my head.
@Darlainky: Grim Reaper: You know why I'm here. Me: Heavy drinking? Unhealthy diet? Texting and driving? GR: You should've forwarded that chain email.