@JennyJohnsonHi5: I love the Olympics, but missing Dateline due to the Olympics sucks. One of these athletes better end up being a serial killer or something.
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@oolah: If you replace phrase “Americans think” with “Americans with landlines who answer unsolicited calls think” it all makes so much more sense.
@SteveSackington: Look, all I'm saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
@junejuly12: Sometimes I want to kidnap a few woman for two to three weeks so that their eyebrows can grow without fear
@Parentpains: "I don't understand the value in seeing a therapist." - People who haven't spent time with me yet.