@OhMattyBoy: I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn't be oppressed.
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@werehedgehog: In 1752, Benjamin Franklin invented electricity because it was no longer considered humane to execute people using an acoustic chair.
@wolfpupy: i won 100 dollars worth of chips at the casino, all i had to do was throw a brick through the vending machine glass
@daemonic3: Ok, milk... Check! Potato salad... Check! Tomatoes... Check! "Sir, can you wait for the total and just write one check please?"