@SashaBrenner: I love the smell of relapse in the morning
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@elle91: Got fired from the duty free store for never showing up which is very misleading and also bullshit.
@daemonic3: My girlfriend went to the dentist for a cavity. It's odd since she spends so much time in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush.
@MakeYourBedlam: I like reserving tables at restaurants using unique names so I can hear the hostess announce, "Optimus Prime? Your table for 5 is ready!"