@BruceForce: I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they're hatching some kind of evil plan.
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@SteveSuckington: Kids are like debit cards. I get yelled at when I accidentally leave them at the store.
@KKAlThani: Just banged my toe on a table & kept moaning in pain so much that I made a new Coldplay song.
@david8hughes: God: Noah, I need an ark. Noah: Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter? God: Uh [huge grin] cos I'm banging his wife? [raises hand] up top?