@usermcuserface: I love them whole heartedly. I love it when they play with me, and I eat their table scraps. I am essentially my kids dog.
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@Coastiefish: Don't say "ATM machine". The "M" already stands for "machine". It's redundant. It's like saying "end result" or "racist Fox News Anchor".
@Gupton68: Wife: I won't ask again, take the trash out! Me: OK, ok. I'm doing it! [3 days later] W: Can you take the trash out? M: No way! W: *angry* I beg your pardon? M: *shrugging* You promised you'd never ask me again W: I despise you
@AJ_VanFossen: I swallowed a Ice Cube and I haven't pooped it out yet, I'm really scared you guys.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Luggage is like children. If you leave the airport with two out of three suitcases you did alright.