@lizetagge: I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want...
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@Ixwie: When u get charged £1.85 by a cash machine to get ur own cash out and it has the cheek to tell u to cover ur pin to prevent getting robbed
@gerryhallcomedy: My kids don't believe that before video games, we used to have to go out and buy a hedgehog, paint it blue, then give it cocaine.
@Fazio_N: You've been robbed by *360 spin* A smooooth crimi- *trips over own feet, drops tv, & butt dials police*
@WHEREISWALTJNR: I want to be featured on the news and the caption below me to read *unintelligible screaming*.