@Discourt: I love to run. Around the house. Chasing my toddler. Because she took my iced coffee.
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@murrman5: *holding your xray up to the light and looking at it* when did you first notice your back hurting? "after the knife went in"
@MartaEffing: I'm pretty sure the chick at this drive thru had me repeat, 'I'll take a number two', multiple times so she could laugh at me.
@lecalabara: Sober me will always have your back.Drunk me will convince you to get a tattoo of a unicorn doing a dolphin over a rainbow on your back.