@Discourt: I love to run. Around the house. Chasing my toddler. Because she took my iced coffee.
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@NotChuckBarkley: Is Miley Cyrus pregnant? Will The government stay shut down? Will the GTA online servers work? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z
@WhiskeySoured: If you feel like you're going through a rough patch, just remember that it only lasts through adulthood.
@mrtimlong: It's called a "Monte Cristo" sandwich because one day it will return disguised as another sandwich & seek its revenge
@JohnMayer: Yogurt does nothing. Creamy nonsense. You ever finished a yogurt cup and felt like it made a difference? Like throwing a shoe at a bear.