@chaeronaea: i love twitter
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@EJGomez: teacher: "there are no stupid questions" me: "ya ok but why isnt the plural of moose, meese"
@DaddyJew: Doctor: are you an active marijuana user? Me: not really, I usually just sit on the couch and play video games
@KateWhineHall: Nothing is better than working out to 80s music. Except listening to 80s music without working out.
@CanadianCyn: If I went back in time I'd tell myself... "Don't wait until 29 to become a stripper. You get to be naked, drunk and get paid for it!"