@waveymaree: I love twitter
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@VaguelyFunnyDan: The gal in front of me on this flight didn't enjoy me stroking her forehead after she reclined into my lap. Thought we were having a moment.
@_wangwe: Never ask a shepherd how many sheep he owns, I don't think he'd know, he probably falls asleep every time he takes inventory.
@kellysdf: It's important to know your neighbors by name. For instance, "Mr. Mean Old Man" and his wife, "Screamy".
@OfficeLinebcker: A: Just had to explain the difference between "mute" and "moot" to a younger co-worker. Q: Why am I drinking out of a flask at work?