@waveymaree: I love twitter
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iwearaonesie: wife: YOU changed the sheets?! [flashback to me eating nachos in bed after she told me not to and getting cheese everywhere] me: Surprise!
@abhorrent_wife: I would totally get into a stranger's windowless van if they took me away from my family for an hour.
@XplodingUnicorn: Priest: Do you read to your kids from the Good Book? Me: Every night Priest: What's their favorite part? Me: When Frodo destroys the ring