@prettysadmostly: I love watching a bird of prey in flight, soaring through the--nevermind its a trash bag everything sucks
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@Sarcasticsapien: Someone angrily told me "You're so sarcastic!" That would be like me angrily telling a woman "You're so beautiful!"
@laffytakky: In the past hour I've dropped my phone and my computer. Let me hold your crying baby.
@sixthformpoet: The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.