@Maui_Speaks: I love wearing ear-buds and listening to the music loud at the gym, because no one can hear you if you fart...Why is everyone looking at me?
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@shopkins776: I was told you have to wait an hour after you finish eating to swim. I didn't know there was such a thing as an hour after you finish eating
@BlackCatBettie: What's faster than the speed of light? A female untagging herself from an unflattering photo.
@david8hughes: [to hot girl at bus stop as bus approaches] "I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to."