@ParaJanitor: I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
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@SadPeruna: If I was a magician I'd ask someone in the audience for a $20 bill and then just run away. You could prob make like $40 doing that.
@gerryhallcomedy: My french toast just surrendered to my german sausage. Breakfast is weird at my house.
@fro_vo: Date: any pets? Me: a pet rock D: lol at least u don’t have to housetrain it Me: *flashback to piles of pebbles all over my house* haha yeah
@stephenjmolloy: God: But if you use your sting you will die. Bee: That will teach us not to abuse our power. How did the wasps take that news? God: Err...