@SweetTweetsBRO: I love when I'm walking closely behind a girl and she starts to speed walk away. It's like she knew I wanted to race all along.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: Practice for parenthood by approaching a pack of rabid wolves and saying “Time to brush teeth! Who wants to go first?” Do that twice a day.
@gabeserra: My 3 yr old's idea of comedic timing is waiting till we're at least 10 minutes away from house to tell me he's not wearing any shoes.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I can point out chicks who say "vokka" and "liberry" instead of "vodka" and "library" based on the use of emoticons in their screen name.
@ArfMeasures: MOM: I don't care how old you are, you'll always be my baby ME [being passed around by her friends to hold] ok but this is weird, I need to get to work