@SweetTweetsBRO: I love when I'm walking closely behind a girl and she starts to speed walk away. It's like she knew I wanted to race all along.
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@captainkalvis: Me: im on a quest to lose my virginity Friend: well, for starters dont call it a quest Me: ok but the ar- Friend: the armor's gotta go too *i dismount from my horse and stomp metallically off to my room*
@wittwitbarista: See that sad girl up on the hill with tears ? That's not me..I'm the one over there running away from a goose with a corn dog in my hand.
@Kendragarden: Papa don't preach I'm in trouble deep Papa don't preach I've been losing sleep But I made up my mind I'm keeping my baby velociraptor