@caliluvgirl77: I love when my friends start selling weight loss shakes because that's one less person I ever have to talk to again.
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@blaudiablogan: It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your facebook page.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: I guess it all started when I was younger- Her: Sir, unless there's a problem with the gas pump, don't push the button to talk to me
@BoogTweets: [at the gym] wheat: *flexing* you like what you see babe? *shredded wheat walks by* wheat: SONOFA
@inpoliteco: If you're telling a story to a group and are interrupted and then no one asks you to continue, ruin their party by drowning in the pool.