@The_MartiniGirl: I love when people tell me to get my act together and I'm like who the hell is acting geez.
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@SergioValenCo: If you encounter a bear in the wilderness, sing a Coldplay song. You'll die, but the bear will suffer too.
@Reverend_Scott: It's the year 2354, the world is now like that futuristic Bruce Willis movie. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the other one. No,
@jamitupin: The question is not what am I doing in your house, the question is why are you home from work early?
@WilliamRodgers: Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don't have Cancer! Me: So it's working...