@The_MartiniGirl: I love when people tell me to get my act together and I'm like who the hell is acting geez.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AnkCoupleTO: [on the phone] Me: I can't make it in today Boss: That's the 3rd time this week M: *neck deep in Kit Kat wrappers* I have a problem
@CarrieMayhem: People who say "you can run but you can't hide" have never played hide & seek with me.. or seen me run.
@samalmightysam: I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.