@thatUPSdude: I love when you're choking someone and they are all "I can't breathe", duh I'm choking you.
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@Sickayduh: DATE: This place is so fancy ME: Ever have a guy splurge on you before? DATE: Well, only when we didn't have a condom
@markleggett: If you accept small grammatical errors, decent society collapses and then everyone starts marrying dogs. That's what happened to Australia.
@Darlainky: Establish your dominance with the drive-thru attendant by saying, "That completes my order" before they ask.