@thatUPSdude: I love when you're choking someone and they are all "I can't breathe", duh I'm choking you.
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@thatUPSdude: Turns out if you fake a heart attack every Monday work sends you to HR and not the hospital.
@daemonic3: Can you believe some cultures still communicate with clicky noises or primitive hieroglyphs? *clicks keyboard furiously* *adds 17 emojis*
@JuliePee: What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face. #watersportsgate #goldenshower