@thatUPSdude: I love when you're choking someone and they are all "I can't breathe", duh I'm choking you.
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@withanewname: Neighbor: It's July, you need to take down the xmas lights. Me: It's no worse than your stupid yard gnome. Neighbor: That's my wife.
@Social_Mime: My thoughts are with you but my prayers are reserved for Kelly on FB that's cooking a casserole for the first time.
@Michael1979: My one weakness? Probably my unshakable belief that, despite a total lack of training, I'll be able to do karate if I'm ever in a fight.