@The_Sculptress: I love you guys with all my ass. I would say heart, but my ass is bigger.
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@Scdavis24: I emailed my ex-girlfriend "Are you still alive" and she emailed back "No" which made me sad but also excited that they have email in hell.
@JohnLyonTweets: Went on blind date, woke up in bathtub with kidney gone. 6 out of 10, would date again.