@The_Sculptress: I love you guys with all my ass. I would say heart, but my ass is bigger.
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@Aspersioncast: If my girlfriend is late for work & looking for keys, I help by following her around the house & looking in exactly the same spots she does.
@McInappropriate: she wears short skirts I eat pizza she's cheer captain and I'm still eating pizza
@TheToddWilliams: [my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down.
@weismanjake: I wonder if celebrity couples have a list of 5 average citizens each of them are allowed to sleep with if they ever get the chance