@thesupergrobi: I love you so much, I'll just sit at home and stare at my phone to make you notice.
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@GuyThe_Guy: "Is there a Mr. Fields?" I say to my twelfth cookie, all the while knowing she's all mine.
@jeff_ratfamily: A ladies magazine told me to compliment my wifes booty. So I told her I was glad it wasn't hairy. I need a place to stay
@KattsDogma: DA: Where r my legal briefs? Paralegal *hands him his boxers* Judge: lol Jury: We're hung Judge: ha! DA: Balls in your court Judge: DO MORE!
@KevinFarzad: This man recorded his son every day for a decade. The footage is breathtaking and takes 10 years to watch.